August 27th, 2007
Weakness
Why is it that whenever Steph and I are in a public place, we’re the ones making way for other people? Do I lack the killer look that forces people out of my way? Should I get piercings or a lip disk? Should I dye my hair strange colors, wear a holster on my hip, don a black cloak and wear strange contact lenses? What is it that makes one person move aside on a sidewalk and another continue walking as if the other person didn’t exist? I get the feeling that if I didn’t move aside, I’d always be crashing into people. There must be some sort of hidden body language involved which I can’t get the hang of. Can someone help us out here? I’m tired of stepping onto the road. Someone unlock the power inside of me.
-Mike
August 28th, 2007 at 1:00 am
It is called a big black trench coat. Then people will give you a good foot radius of personal space.
August 28th, 2007 at 4:21 am
Dude….you gotta make eye contact with them and just keep walking. Usually you can compromise and do a slight movement to the left or right and then they’ll do the opposite and you’re fine.
Not really a problem…I must be your problem, I win like 90% of the time.
August 28th, 2007 at 7:57 am
Just hold good posture, make eye-contact, and if it’s crowded wear a don’t-fuck-with-me face. Sometimes smile if you’re in a good mood, but scowling generally makes people move out of YOUR way faster.
August 28th, 2007 at 10:22 am
You might also try looking over their shoulder to the side that you will be passing on. Kind of that “100 yard stare” and you’re looking where you’re going. Since you are going to be nervous about crashing in to them the first few times, it’s critical that you look where you want to go. Looking at the person might actually cause you to walk right into them (magnetic object syndrome)
Another possibility is that you just “dodge” earlier than everyone else. When you’re coming to a situation where you feel you might need to dodge, wait until you feel you need to dodge, and then wait another 2-count beyond. Force yourself to get closer to the situation before reacting. Worst case? You bump into someone on the street. Apologize. Go on merry way. Repeat.
August 29th, 2007 at 1:34 am
I agree with Nate and Eric. Sometime early on in my High School years I got tired of being the sidestepper. So I began looking people in the eye, or looking straight ahead like I didn’t see them. If I had to, in order to avoid a bump at the last second, I would sometimes turn alittle sideways just as I passed them.
Now that I’m bigger, and can physically back my attitude up, I almost never move out of the way. I step aside for women and old folk, and if someone returns eye contact I move a little so they can do the same.
August 29th, 2007 at 2:32 am
I don’t recommend eye contact either, unless you need to deliver a warning glance that says “I’m *not* going to move” at the last moment. Just stride confidently, don’t dawdle and fixate on your destination.
It also helps if you are not walking as a couple. Couples can be expected to move for one person, because they are hogging twice the pavement that anyone needs to. They don’t need to walk side-by-side, so they should move.
August 29th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Probably not the Input your looking for Mike but you know my answer, don’t move around em, don’t sweat it, and dont appologize unless they start to first.
unless they are old then just go around.
September 2nd, 2007 at 4:03 am
In Italy the Italians never move out of the way. I don’t think they are very aware of the sapce around them, they just don’t see you coming! I got fed up of always moving out of the way for them (especially if they are a bunch of teenagers), so I don’t move out the way and do sometimes knock into them (I also got out of my British habit of saying sorry if I did bump into someone). It’s even more fun if there is a big group of them taking up the whole path, I just say ‘PERMESSO’ in a loud voice and walk through the middle of them. Fight fire with fire! That’s what I say!
September 18th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
It’s all about body posture “STAND TALL” and focus! That’s all you need to let the oncoming traffic know you’re serious about not moving. I get pass 90% of the time as well.
September 21st, 2007 at 8:27 pm
I like ta grin as I swagger up an’ holler “HOWDY, Y’ALL!” -it never fails!
Or if someone’s standing right in a doorway oblivious, I’ll go with the classic “HOT CHEESE!” which clears an aisle . I surmise one of the innate talents of a native New Yorker is this ability to wrest the right-of-way from the inanimate or the unwitting, at will. “Hey, I’m walkin’ here!!”
September 21st, 2007 at 11:51 pm
Something I never really thought about. Never had an issue with it. I’m 6′2″ and weigh about 240, but I’ve never really gotten out of the way of anyone, bigger or smaller. But yeah, I will move a little out of the way. If we bump, no big deal, I keep walking. I don’t give a shit what the person I bumped into thinks, I’m trying to get somewhere.
Then again, I’m an asshole. Not really, but I am antisocial, and introverted. This just isn’t something I have ever had an issue with.
Don’t worry about it too much. And don’t be afraid of bumping into something.
And if someone says shit about the girl you are with it is very OK to elbow them in the head. Even if you end up getting your ass handed to you. Much better in fact, than if you did nothing.
September 22nd, 2007 at 10:00 pm
I had this problem in high school. I was always the one to move out of the way for people. One day, in a haze of PMS, I decided, “No more. I’m not moving any more. They can move if they want to.”
As soon as I thought that, I saw a guy coming towards me. I didn’t move out of the way. Neither did he. We slammed into each other. He called me a bitch. I hollered at him to fuck off.
It felt pretty good, actually.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:59 am
it always happens the same with me, that’s why sometimes I get into an embarrassing dodge dance on the street (when I have the guts to keep my path hahah)
October 19th, 2007 at 12:07 am
Love this one. You always think of the oddest topics, but ones in which I always wonder about myself.
I love all of the replies on this one…all good advice (although the “hot cheese” one I don’t really recommend). I wonder if because I am your sister we have a similar problem genetically…because I am always the one that moves, as well.
Now you have me thinking about this too hard…I am going to have to get my game face on and scare people into moving for me.
October 19th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
…or, just move sideways a little. “I get my right of way 90% of the time roflcopterz” - how is this a good attitude towards other people?
If I’m in an especially bad mood then ok, yes, I might put on the “get out of my damn way” face, but 99% of the time I’ll happily move aside slightly to let someone pass.
In fact, if someone looks like they’re going to run me down unless I move then I’m far more likely to move just to piss them off.
Good manners != weakness
October 19th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
Blah! Apparently putting things inside pointy brackets makes them disappear. That third paragraph should read:
“far more likely to not move just to piss them off”
Emphasis failure, d’oh
November 15th, 2007 at 2:31 am
I hear what you’re saying and yeah, I can see how always being the one to move out of the way might make you feel like you’re always giving in. And once upon a time, I felt the same way.
But one day, I faced reality: I’m a tall, thin person who loves her body and doesn’t want to get injured by fussing over who gives right of way on a sidewalk. I’m pretty aggressive about it, actually, and I don’t even give the other person the opportunity to decide if they are going to move. I take the initiative to make sure I don’t get hurt and move on.
And yeah, what Hexaflex said, “Good manners != weakness.”
May 30th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
i used to have this problem in highschool but not anymore, one day i said
you know what im not moving aside anymore, let me see what happens, just maintain a confident, determinded look on your face and keep walking on your path keep, walking, walking until you get pretty close and then the other person will say o shit i better move. I never move for any one anymore im 5′8 and people over 6 feet are steping aside for me.
its all in the head and your attitude